hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
