Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
