nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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