This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
