you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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