Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
