I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
