Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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