He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize