is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My bed smells like the plague
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
