i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
