Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
