"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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