My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
