The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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