I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
