There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
