Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
