u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
