This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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