just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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