We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize