I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
