hotel room ftw
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
