Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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