After last night, I could never be a politician.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
