im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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