Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize