Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
