so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
