Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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