True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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