Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
