I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
