Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
