I'm eating all of the evidence.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
