i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
