the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
