You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
