Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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