so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
