It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
