we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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