flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
