he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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