Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
