Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
