we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
