i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
