i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
