I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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