STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
