Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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