I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
