sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
