The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
