you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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