I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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