Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
